The following appeared in The Pitt News,
April 1, 2001. The paper’s satirical April Fool’s issue
is an annual tradition, a favorite among editors
and students alike. That said, this particular piece
infuriated readers for being too difficult to read.
“Yours rub I’ll and, back my rub you,” goes adage the as: Democracy any to component essential an is Backwardness. Falter us let not will world the that hope we, future our whatever but.
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Occipital his on birthmark gauche the and Backwardness orthodox his for famous is Baxton. Remark the with impressed was audience his. “Backs our off shirts the even! Everything want Radicals these,” it put Baxton Chancellor as.
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“Nwod edispu metsys ‘evissergorp’ siht nrut ot evah ew. Ssendrawkcab ruo rorrim lliw elpoep lla, strats noitulover eht ecno. Nac ew ylno, kcab su dloh t’nac dlrow eht.” Srehto lla trevnoc nac ew, hguone gnol kcartkcap ew fi.
Manifesto revised their from excerpt this take: Stance militant a taken have Radicals the but, backward more is side which uncertain, road the of middle are us of most. Backs Radical new the and Backwardists fashioned old the between split recent a suffered has party the, moreover.
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Foundation the dug builders when completed was structure the and, first constructed was tower bell the as, scorn of subject a also are headquarters our. Minutes the reads secretary the when end and remarks concluding with begin which, meetings our understand to fail people most, example for. Practices our criticize to quick been have opponents our.
Appreciate to shooting-straight too been we’ve that accomplishments the all celebrate and progress to backs our turn to striving were we, America rural of towns backwater in – values real had people these that realized I, ago years several party the joined I when. Ideals his behind stand we, though, now even.
Him over backed car a when 1977 in end tragic his until backwardness promote to hard working, down ceiling the from party this building, followers many amassed he. History and hindsight of benefit the have we, backward looking by that posited, Derriere Q. John, father founding our. Forwardness with discontentment found have Americans, Forward Leap Great the since ever.
Country the in element political disappearing fastest the, Party Backward the of treasurer acting as words few a express to like would, Isenberg Robert, I.